Strong Women Still Feel Pain

Taking care of yourself is not weakness—and neither is asking to be taken seriously.

Today, I was talking with another woman about some of the health and life issues women deal with. As we shared our experiences, one thing kept coming up: how often women say they are hurting, exhausted, overwhelmed, or simply not feeling right—and somebody dismisses it.

People love to describe women as gentle, soft, and delicate. But the moment a woman admits she is in pain, suddenly she is expected to suck it up, push through, and stop complaining. Well, which one is it? Are we fragile, or are we so strong that we are never allowed to hurt?

In my own life, I have had doctors minimize pain or decide what was wrong before truly listening to me. Being former military, I also know the familiar routine of being given Motrin for almost everything and sent on your way. During today's conversation, I recognized several things this woman was experiencing because I had dealt with similar issues myself. I encouraged her to keep asking questions and find someone else who would listen.

That is something women must become comfortable doing: advocating for ourselves. Get another opinion. Ask for an explanation. Keep notes. Speak clearly about what has changed. Do not allow anyone—including another woman—to convince you that what you are feeling is not real simply because they would handle it differently.

And this is bigger than medical care. Women are dismissed when we speak about being mistreated at work, carrying too much at home, needing help, feeling emotionally drained, or wanting time to take care of ourselves. We are expected to keep everything moving, but the moment we pause to protect our physical, mental, or spiritual health, somebody calls us weak, dramatic, difficult, or selfish.

A woman can be strong and still be in pain. She can be dependable and still need rest. She can care for everyone around her and still deserve care herself.

So, when a woman in your life tells you something hurts, listen. You do not have to experience pain the same way to take hers seriously. And women, let's stop dismissing and gaslighting one another. We need more people willing to say, "I hear you. Let's figure out what comes next."

Keep speaking up. Keep taking care of yourself. And keep thriving toward the life you deserve.

Tisha.